How to Choose a Gift
My mother gave gifts based on what she wanted to do.
She might zero in on a particular grandchild for Christmas and do something really special for them – like build a doll house.
Oh, everyone got gifts, don’t misunderstand. But, my mom thought about the person she was gifting, reflected on their personality, added some of her own, threw it all in a bag, shook it up, tossed it out, and…VOILA! Your present from my mother magically appeared.
Sometimes it was what she wanted. Sometimes it was what you wanted. Sometimes it was what you didn’t want, but she wanted you to have. Sometimes it was what you had no idea you wanted, but she did.
Whatever it was – it always came from her heart and packaged in love.
Now, true…an environment like that could breed petty jealousy. But I must confess, that among the 14 grandchildren, I never saw – and since, have never heard of – any such feelings or behaviors. As for me and my 3 siblings, I don’t remember negative reactions to anything like this either.
I cannot speak to the rest of my family’s feelings, but I can speak to my own.
I probably have a chemical imbalance. If you were to ask my husband…he’d tell you without hesitation that I most definitely have a chemical imbalance, and a great many other things out of whack as well.
I just don’t seem to possess the “Jealousy Gene”, or maybe I only got a trace of it. Perhaps I was raised by wolves, mentored by a black panther, adored by a large bear, and forced to fight to the death with a tiger who’s hated me from my birth! Oh wait…that’s a totally different story. I got off track. Sorry.
I’m not anything special, trust me. I’ve been terribly selfish, arrogant, and just plain old WRONG. But, I never thought if those around me received something more or different it meant I was held at less value. I never even thought of my own value. I thought of them and how wonderful it was that they had been given this special thing. I would rejoice and be happy with and for them.
Please don’t mistake my intentions in revealing this about myself. I am most definitely not trying to toot my own horn. I am fully aware of how blessed I am that the Lord gave me the ability to see things this way from the time I was a child. I praise Him for it.
Many people choose to give everyone in the family the same gifts. If one daughter gets a doll, all the little females get dolls. Some of the dolls might have different hair color or clothing, but they will all be the same doll. This is done to stay in-line with one’s idea of fairness. That’s okay, I’m not knocking how/why anyone chooses their gifts. I realize many like to save special things for birthdays. What works for some, may not work for all. Allow me to just use this illustration to make a point about our God.
What’s Wrong with That
Let me share with you how I would feel as one of those little girls who received the exact same thing all the other little girls in the family received. Happy, of course, to even have gotten anything. But, deep down inside – when I saw that everyone else had the same thing – I wouldn’t feel special at all. Not much thought went into the gift I received. No thought about me, individually. It wouldn’t matter to me if each doll had cost $1 or $10,000.
Value isn’t defined by a dollar amount. Humans estimate their self worth largely based on the value they believe they are held at by other people. The most important people in that equation are the ones we love and look up to the most.
Jealousy among humans is an ugly thing. Straight from the heart of Satan.
Let’s be honest…do we not look at other Christians and wonder why/how they are better off than us? Better off financially, physically, their kids make straight A’s, they’re never stuck in the slow line at the grocery store check-out, they sing in perfect harmony, they get the promotion at work, they always know the perfect Bible verse for every situation, their prayers sound like the angels wrote them, etc, etc, etc. You know who “they” are. Makes you just wanna punch ’em in the face, doesn’t it?
If you feel envy, jealousy, or possibly resentment, you are not only comparing yourself to others, but you are judging as well. Life is not a competition, despite what society may tell us. Those things are for the world, and you are not part of the world. You are not competing with other Christians for God’s love. God’s love for you is not measured by how “good/bad” you view the gifts/obstacles He gives you versus someone else. If you are caught up in that line of thinking, you are comparing yourself to someone else AND you are judging God. Have you completely forgotten that He valued you so much He gave you His only Son? You are worth more than it makes any sense to be worth. Is there anyone you love and look up to more than God?
Yes, the gift of salvation is freely given to everyone. Everyone. But it is VERY special. A lot of thought went into it, and Jesus WAS thinking of me individually when He was considering what He would give me. More than 2000 years ago, as He was being crucified, He thought about me. That just blows my mind and overwhelms me, but you know what really makes me happy? That I know He was thinking about you too.
Just Give me One Denarius
I have always wanted to be able to sing. I desperately wanted to be a singer when I was a child. God did not bless me with that gift, no matter how much I wanted it. It did not happen for me, but it does for others. He has given many the gift of song. In spite of how passionate I felt about it, God’s plan did not include that for me. It doesn’t have to make sense to me. I only need to trust Him. He gave me other gifts, and I continue to learn how to use them. While I still love singing, I know that is not my calling, and I understand why God did not bless me with this gift. He has other plans for me.
In Matthew 20, Jesus shares the Parable of the Vineyard Workers with the disciples as they discuss possessions and the kingdom. Peter asked what would there be for them since they left everything and followed Him. In answering, Jesus twice says that “the last will be first, and the first last,” (Matthew 19:30 & 20:16). It is even shadowed in verse 8 of chapter 20. For Him to repeat it means this is a concept He wants them to understand. It is important. Hold that thought.
In summary, the parable is about a wealthy landowner hiring day laborers for his vineyard. He goes to the marketplace early in the morning and agrees with a group to work for a daily wage of one denarius (or penny). This was a generous wage for the time. It was about equal to that of a Roman soldier, who were paid well and ranked higher on the social ladder than common folk. After a few hours, the landowner hires more people. Later, he hires even more. He does this several times until the last group he brings to the vineyard only works an hour before the day is done.
The owner instructs his foreman to gather the workers and pay them in reverse order of when they arrived – last first, and first last. The people who had been working for only an hour received one denarius. When the other workers saw this, they assumed their pay would be the equivalent…one denarius per hour. They were upset when they too received only one denarius even though they had worked more hours.
The owner of the vineyard answered the protesters by reminding them the wage they were given was generous and they did agree to it. He asked them if they were mad at him because he chose to be more generous with some, and put forth the question to them that was it not his money to do with as he pleased? He had not wronged them.
There are many things you can glean from this parable. The owner of the vineyard is God. The first workers hired represent those who believe themselves to be of more importance to God. The last workers hired represent those like the 12 disciples, who sacrifice and live for Christ. Those people receive more of a reward than they feel they deserve. The landowner dispensed his wealth as he saw fit, just as God dispenses His blessings and grace as He sees fit. It is not for you to understand. It is for you only to trust. Our paths are not the same.
Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good…All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills, (1 Corinthians 12:4-7 & 11).
“The last first, and the first last.” You see, the thief on the cross – who literally was saved while he was dying – was every bit a full heir to the kingdom of God as Peter or Paul. Even though the thief only worked the vineyard for one hour, he received the same wages as everyone else who worked (so to speak). Jesus may also have been preparing the disciples for the future workers that would help spread the Gospel after He was crucified. Those workers were no less important than the disciples.
Packaged in Love
Tell the truth. When you heard the Parable of the Vineyard Workers, did you think it was unfair for the people to have all received the same wage no matter how long they worked? Did it not quite make sense? Maybe you felt a little twinge because your sense of justice got a big crack in it. Any of that ring true for you? If so…that’s called COMPARING & JUDGING. It’s a human affliction, but you can overcome it. You’re trying to understand and rationalize things with your human brain (your flesh) that are of God (spiritual). Sometimes fleshly comprehension isn’t enough when you are dealing with things that are bigger than you are. Just get out of the comparing & judging business. It’s a failed venture anyway.
Jesus gave many gifts while He walked this earth. People didn’t all receive the same thing either. He gave based on what He wanted to do – how His giving could best glorify the Father and meet the need of the person who would receive it. To some, He gave sight where they had never been able to see before. Some He gave the ability to walk where they had never been able to walk before. And even to some, He gave life where they were dead before. Could it be He has given you gifts that have gone unnoticed by you? Besides the obvious gift of salvation, maybe He opened your eyes to something you were blind to before. Perhaps your path is leading you in a direction you never expected before.
Oh brothers and sisters in Christ, I beg you not to limit your understanding of “gifts” to things that can only be valued by the dollar, or touched by human hand. Rejoice in each others blessings, and lift one another up.
Sometimes the gift is what Jesus wants. Sometimes it’s what you want. Sometimes it’s what you didn’t want, but Jesus wanted you to have. Sometimes it’s what you had no idea you wanted, but He did.
Whatever it is – it always comes from His heart and packaged in love.
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